One of the best gifts I ever gave myself was to take other people out of the equation of what I desire.
I spent most of my life basing my desires on the desires of other people. I would ask them what they wanted and then base my decision on theirs. It was exhausting and ultimately led to relationships with all sorts of people that didn’t feel good. I created a world of solitude within myself because I was suffocated by the world. But no one was doing anything to me. I created it all myself. I gave away the knowing within myself in exchange for fear.
It was a repeditive cycle and no matter the new relationship I entered into it started off great and ended up not so great. All because I chose to ignore my own guidance and not communicate who I was. Because I lived in a space of the thought “what if someone doesn’t like me”.
And now, because of the life I’ve been living I created an experience in my life that called this awareness of myself in a more apparent way. And from this experience and this awareness I have allowed more clarity of who I am.
When I take others out of the equation in the asking of “what do I want”, I come from a place of love instead of a place of fear. As I allow myself to do this I continue to feel and be the love that I am and the less I have to actually ask the question because it becomes a part of me. I get to share myself more authentically with all the beautiful people in my life and those I have yet to meet.
And everyday I allow myself to be more and more the being I was born to be.