I’m discovering more and more the truth of it all. Now I am only speaking of my truth as I don’t live your life and am not here to tell you who you are.

I had been having a dialogue with myself about social media and how I should be interacting with it for my personal life and business… going something like, “well I am suppose to market myself, do this, send this, share this, post this, go to this, blah blah blah“. Watching other people on social media and marketing, sharing, sharing, sharing and hearing from people on social media and friends asking me to keep sharing. Meanwhile I’m sitting here in my mind like, “how the fuck do you people share so much? Where’s the time to be focused on other things?

I watch people like GaryVee (who is a bad ass) constantly putting content out and his message being one of hustle hustle. Now granted he has a team of people doing many things for him. And truthfully it instilled this feeling of overwhelment and lack. Lack of not doing enough. On the flip side looking at my perspective of Esther Hicks, who also has a team of people working for her, but her approach occuring softer and sharing in away surrounding her events. I see her as this being focused on what she’s up to and letting that speak for itself and living a life connecting and being with people she loves.

(For the purpose of this conversation GaryVee and Esther Hicks are great analogies and outward reflections. A Yin(Esther) and Yang(GaryVee) so to say)

And this whole time looking outward at others and comparing myself, comparing my business and creating internal struggle.

Comparing myself to GaryVee in the way of thinking I need to be like him; go, go, go, do, do, do, on, on, on. Yang, Yang, Yang.

Comparing myself to Esther Hicks in the way of why haven’t I mastered the immersion into what I am passionate about most and share outwardly (only) when the impulse is there. Yin, Yin with a dose of Yang.

I’ve come to realize so much being here immersed in the Forest in Sweden focusing on “my work”; writing, creating, walking in nature, laying on the earth, picking wild berries, harvesting wild plants, swimming in the cold water, getting wet with the rain…

  • I’ve been forcing myself to be a GaryVee when I’m an Esther. — It was like I woke up one day and was like, “holy shit I’ve been making myself wrong for loving solitude, inwardness, silence and not wanting to be immersed in social media, talking on the on the phone, texting, technology.. holy shit I’ve been trying to make myself be different then what feels good to me.. like I had to be someone who loves to talk on the phone, share what I’m doing with others through technology” 💡 (honoring my Yin)

  • I’m not GaryVee or Esther
  • The most magical, impactful, powerful thing I could ever do is follow my impulse and be immersed in what I’m focused on.

  • The superficial relationships and likes of social media, the doing what I think I should be doing, the doing what you want me to do so you feel good; are never worth any level of sacrifice to my relationship with Source (Me).

  • I made this whole perspective, interpretation, scenerio, reflection, struggle up. Made it all up. If we were to watch our lives as a movie with no words and no meaning, we would just be observing bodies moving. Meaning and perspective is all made up aka “in the eye of the beholder”.

At the beginning I said I am discovering more and more the truth of it all, my truth. And I’ll share what part has opened up for me in this moment. It’s that my success comes from laying in the grass feeling the rain on my face, it comes from sitting with my journal and writing my life’s story, it comes from walking through the Forest smelling the scent of trees in the air, it comes from floating in the cold water feeling the sun on my skin. My success meaning the success of my life; the amount of which I feel good. To think that any other aspect is any more important in the manifestation of my life’s story is false. Nothing is more important than that I feel good, that my core is nourished, that I follow my impulses.

And for me, that no amount of time is ever wasted laying on the Earth.

📍 Bäcka, Riddarhyttan, Sweden
📸 with my @googlepixel 3